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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28033854">Carried Away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacNoctua/pseuds/LilacNoctua'>LilacNoctua</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Worthwhile [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kidnapping, Kissing, M/M, Mild Language, Panic Attacks, Rescue Missions, Romance, Sexual Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:41:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28033854</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacNoctua/pseuds/LilacNoctua</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“We are shinobi,” Lee said again, sighing. “I cannot promise we will grow old together. Most shinobi die before retirement. And has any Kazekage ever died of old age? All I know is that for as long as I am alive, I want to be with you.”<br/>“Lee,” Gaara whispered.<br/>“And who knows,” Lee continued. “Maybe there is an afterlife where we would be reunited, where there would be no one left to fight and nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company. I cannot count on that, so I will just need to make the most of the time we have.”</i>
  <br/>
</p><p>
Things are supposed to be peaceful again after the conclusion of the trial. It doesn't quite work out that way.
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gaara/Rock Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Worthwhile [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>124</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Driven to Distraction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was way too excited about this story and wanted to start posting it this week, so I posted the final chapter of Revealed earlier in the week. It's <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27429277/chapters/68453582/">here</a> if you missed it.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Content Warning:</b> This chapter contains descriptions of violence, blood and injuries. A character experiences a panic attack.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lee winced as the training post made a sharp cracking noise and split down the centre. This was the third one he had managed to destroy this year and the village carpenters would not be happy with him. The other two he had ruined during that awful period of six months where he had scarcely been able to see Gaara, or even write to him, as their villages were on the brink of war with Kusagakure. All that was over now, the so-called Kusakage and his Council had been captured, tried and sentenced, along with a traitor from Suna. Everything was peaceful. During the two weeks of the trial, he and Gaara had spent all their spare time together, and now Gaara was here. In Konoha. Staying in his apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And therein, he supposed, lay the source of the frustration he had just vented upon this unfortunate training post. They hadn’t spent a lot of time in his apartment; Gaara was spending his days up in the Hokage Tower while Lee trained, and their friends had insisted on meeting them in the evening for dinners or just to spend time together. But at night, they were totally alone in Lee’s tiny apartment. His bed was too small for even him to sleep in alone, so they had been sleeping together on the lumpy pullout couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee had been embarrassed at first at how run-down and cramped his apartment was compared to the accommodations Gaara usually had when he travelled. But Gaara seemed delighted to eat breakfast in the kitchenette in the morning with his ankles tangled with Lee’s under the old, wobbly table. He appeared to find it amusing that if he angled the showerhead just right, he could splash Lee when they were both crammed into the closet that passed as a bathroom trying to get ready for the day. He also seemed to be quietly thrilled that the sagging couch forced them to sleep practically on top of each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For Lee, the close quarters meant that he was constantly aware of Gaara and it was already beginning to drive him to distraction. Gaara had only been there for three nights and yet even when he was out during the day, reminders of his presence were everywhere. There was a box of his favourite tea by the kettle, black makeup on the vanity in the bathroom, his scent lingered in the bed and strands of red hair clung to the pillows. In a few places, grains of sand dusted the floorboards, and Lee kept finding them in the seams of his clothes. He couldn’t get Gaara out of his head long enough to focus on tasks as simple as preparing lunch or working on a mission report, so he was avoiding the apartment during the day. Not that it helped one bit. His imagination had overrode the rest of his brain, fueled by memories of the nights they spent together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night before, they had arrived home after dark and the moment the apartment door had closed, Gaara had pushed Lee back against it and kissed him passionately. Lee hadn’t even realized that Gaara had started undressing him until he heard his tool pouch hit the floor. The gourd on Gaara’s belt had followed soon after. They had left a trail of discarded shoes, clothes, and ninja tools across the floor to the bed, lips breaking away from each other only long enough to pull Gaara’s undershirt over his head. They had fallen onto the bed in an untidy heap of heated, bare skin and tangled limbs, kissing like they just couldn’t get enough of each other, hands wandering greedily over each other’s bodies. And suddenly Gaara had been underneath him, his legs locked around Lee’s waist, moaning the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes </span>
  </em>
  <span>repeatedly against Lee’s mouth as Lee pushed their hips together, sliding their naked erections alongside each other between them. The unyielding, all-consuming </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>that Lee felt in that moment, along with the knowledge that there was nothing to stop them from doing this if they really wanted to had been enough to scare him. He had scrambled back out of Gaara’s reach, gasping, “Too fast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara had stared at him blankly in the darkness for the space of a few heartbeats and then relaxed, rolling onto his side and patting the mattress next to him saying, “Lie back down, Lee. It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t okay. It was all he could think about. Even when he tried to lose himself in his training. All it took was for him to catch the faintest hint of the way Gaara’s hair smelled when he got out of the shower, a certain look in his eye when he glanced at Lee, even catching sight of him walking down the street a little ways ahead, and suddenly Lee’s limbs were jelly, his heart racing far too fast. Now, as he stared at the splintered training post, he wondered if it was possible that this frustration might actually kill him. He shook his head; he was being stupid. All he had to do was go home, look after it himself, and get a grip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reminded himself forcefully of his plan. The mess with the Kusakage was all but over. Soon, when he was sure everything was safe and peaceful, he would request leave so they could go away together for a while. He needed to do this properly. After all, hadn’t he seen first hand what had happened to Tenten and Neji when they had been too hasty, letting their feelings get the better of them. Emotions were a tricky business between himself (who had too many, and so strongly) and Gaara (who was still learning how to understand and express his). He needed to be so careful with this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a deep sigh, he walked to the edge of the training field to throw himself down in the shade for a break. Being a frustrated, horny wreck was no excuse to shirk his training and he still needed to do three thousand more kicks, three thousand more punches and at least a thousand push ups before he could go home. It was a beautiful day in early spring and having spent most of the winter camping in awful conditions on the hunt for the Kusakage, he was determined to enjoy the sunshine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A kunai bit into the grass next to his head with a sharp </span>
  <em>
    <span>thwack. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It took only a second longer than usual for his distracted mind to recognize the threat, and for him to leap back into a fighting stance. It was already too late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something hit him from behind, snarling ferociously and digging long claws into his skin, the scent of rancid meat on its breath. Lee rolled backwards in an attempt to dislodge it and the razor sharp claws raked down his back as the creature held on determinedly. A strange ninja appeared out of the trees, the emblem of Kusagakure shining on his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like my little pet?” he laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ignoring the pain in his back and the weight of the animal, Lee leapt at him and attempted a spinning kick. Another hand grabbed his ankle as he was still winding up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not so fast, Rock Lee,” the second ninja hissed. “We have unfinished business with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee clenched his jaw as the creature on his back sank its teeth into the flesh of his shoulder. He could feel blood pooling in the wounds and beginning to trickle down his spine and the backs of his thighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Desperately he aimed a lightning fast punch at the second ninja and was blocked by a short, black lacquered tanbo. Too late he recognized it, as pain arced up his arm and his muscles fell useless, chakra torn agonizingly from its pathways and absorbed by the weapon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lights out,” the ninja told him, grinning as he swung the weapon again. Lee raised his good arm to protect his face, and the Grass ninja changed the direction of his attack, jamming the blunt end of the tanbo into the centre of Lee’s chest. His mind didn’t even have time to register the pain. Everything simply ceased to exist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * * * *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not dead, is he?” the first Grass ninja grunted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” said the second, nudging Lee’s limp body with his toe. “He’ll come around in a few hours. We’ll be far away by then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, cause this won’t work if he croaks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m disappointed,” a third ninja announced, stepping out of the bushes. “I thought he was supposed to be a lot tougher than that. The two of you took him down easily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you kidding?” The second ninja laughed. “He thought he was safe in his own village so he let his guard down and wasted all his energy training. Between that, this weapon, and the beast, he was easy pickings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A large panther, sleek and dark as midnight, prowled in a circle around them and then crept closer to begin licking the blood off the back of Lee’s neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Agma. Can’t eat him just yet,” the first ninja scolded, pulling the creature away by its spiked collar. “Be patient. There’s another where that came from.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right,” agreed a fourth ninja, joining their circle around Lee. “If you thought he would be tough, there’s a much worse fight ahead that we need to save our strength for. Now, grab him, let’s go. Usami and Kiso are waiting by the wall.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first ninja tried to pick Lee up by his vest, but the back had been so shredded by the panther’s claws that it tore away in his hands. He tossed it aside, grabbed Lee roughly by the collar and slung him over his shoulder. He struggled to stand upright again, muscles straining.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the matter? Getting tired?” One of his comrades teased him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! He only weighs a fucking ton. What the hell is he carrying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second ninja came forward to pat Lee’s tool pouch, looking for the source of the weight. After a few moments of feeling around, he discovered the weights hidden under the leg warmers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch your toes,” he said glibly as he unhooked the clasps. Both ninjas were forced to leap back as the weights hit the ground, causing the entire field to shake and leaving a small crater.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first ninja laughed and patted Lee’s back almost respectfully. “No wonder he was slow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you quit fucking around,” the fourth ninja snarled at them. “Now that you’ve made all this noise we need to run. We’re not exactly inconspicuous here in broad daylight. Move it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * * * *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Gaara! Wait up!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara paused at the sound of Naruto’s voice and allowed his friend to catch up with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’re you going?” Naruto asked, falling into step beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told Lee I would meet him at the training field when Tsunade and I were finished for the day,” Gaara replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool! I heard you guys had made up a really awesome new collaborative jutsu!” Naruto enthused. “Are you going to work on that? I wanna see it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara shrugged. “Maybe, if he hasn’t worn himself out. He’s been training really hard since we got here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well that’s Bushy Brow for you,” Naruto said, laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They reached the training field and found Konohamaru and his friends standing in a circle, looking up at the sky and scratching their heads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you guys doing?” Naruto called to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come see, Naruto! We’re trying to figure out where these fell from!” Konohamaru shouted, pointing at something on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Imagine the size of the bird that was carrying these,” Udon said, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t even lift them!” Moegi exclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto and Gaara found themselves standing at the edge of a small crater. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But aren’t those. . .” Naruto began, looking at the two objects in the centre.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee’s leg weights,” Gaara finished for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so where’s Lee?” Naruto wondered. “Hey! Bushy Brow! Where are you hiding?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no answer from the trees around them. The hair on the back of Gaara’s neck stood on end, within the gourd the sand hissed and rattled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something’s wrong,” he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm. What was that?” Naruto asked absently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara didn’t answer. His eyes had caught on something lying in the grass a few paces away. He walked over to it and picked it up gingerly. A green, Leaf shinobi vest. The kind one was given upon promotion to chunin. The back was shredded and stiff with drying blood. With numb fingers, Gaara began opening pockets searching for something, anything that would tell him that this was not the vest he knew it was. Not the vest he knew by scent, by having pressed his face into the front of it a hundred times. That this wasn’t one of his own red hairs clinging to blood stained collar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In one of the small pockets on the left side of the chest, he found two things that brought his thundering heart to an abrupt standstill: a handful of sand, and a narrow strip of paper. It was his own sand, infused with his own chakra, that he had slipped into Lee’s pocket after a conference in the Land of Tea when this was all still new, trying to say something that he did not yet know how to put into words.The paper was the kind used to send messages by hawk, that bore a short note in his own hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing could make me happier. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembered writing this. He remembered exactly how he had felt when Sai’s paper bird had swooped in through the curtains of his palanquin to deliver the message from Lee asking him on their first date: excited, and nauseous, and so painfully happy all at once. He had agonized for miles over just the right message to send back and settled on this single sentence. And Lee had kept it in the pocket over his heart all this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The edges of his vision closed in, narrowing the world down to just the contents of that pocket. Dimly, as though from underwater, Gaara heard Naruto calling to him, asking if he was okay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Temari,” he managed to choke out. “Get Temari.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard feet running over the grass, voices shouting. He could not take his eyes off the remnants of the vest</span>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara!” his sister's voice finally cut through the fog of his panic and his eyes snapped up to meet hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone has taken Lee,” he told her. His voice sounded foreign to his own ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Temari looked at the vest, examining the tattered back and the blood stains. “Are there any other signs of him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just his leg weights, over here,” Naruto explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to find him,” Gaara demanded. “I have to find him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, here’s what we’ll do,” Kankuro said. Gaara only just then realized that his brother and Kiba had appeared as well. “Kiba and I will pick up his trail. Gaara, run to the Hokage Tower and raise the alarm. Naruto and Temari, scrape a team together and follow us as quickly as you can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going with you,” Gaara insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara, no. You’re too upset, and this could be a trap. Let us go first at least,” Kankuro argued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Save it, Kankuro,” Temari shook her head. “If we try to make him stay he’ll follow us anyway. We’ll waste time and things will become disorganized. Just let him come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, really?” Kankuro asked, bewildered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Temari shrugged. “In his place, I would want to do the same. I’ll come too and keep him safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll gather help in no time,” Naruto declared, as a dozen of his clones popped into existence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akamaru, gather the team and catch up with us,” Kiba commanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dog barked and bounded away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry,” Kiba told them, tapping his nose. “I know exactly which way they’ve gone. They’ve got something with them that stinks awfully. Like a cat or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go,” Gaara said. Within moments he was running at Kiba’s heels, his mind reeling back and forth between cold fury and blind panic. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold on, Lee, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought desperately. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m coming.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Life of Someone Precious</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Content Warning:</b> This chapter contains animal injury, blood, violence and injuries, brief descriptions of gore, and depictions of panic attacks.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Some instinct told Lee that for once in his life he needed to remain very still and very quiet. He kept his eyes closed, his muscles limp, and listened carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heavy breathing, five, no, six sets of footsteps running across the forest floor, and ever so faintly the tread of four large paws in the branches overhead. Lee struggled to make sense of what was happening, how he had got here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much further?” a voice gasped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just shut up and keep running,” another voice rumbled right below Lee. So he was being carried, and the voice sounded dimly familiar. Slowly the memory returned to Lee of being attacked on the training field, that horrible creature sinking its claws into his back, the strange weapon striking him in the centre of his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had said they had unfinished business with him, but his aching head couldn’t remember anything from a recent mission that might have left someone with a personal grudge against him. They had known his name.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“So tell me again, boss,” one of his captors spoke. “How are we supposed to stop him from crushing us to death once he catches us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You kidding?” The ninja carrying Lee guffawed. “We’ve got his boyfriend, he’ll have to do whatever we say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee’s stomach turned to ice. They were talking about Gaara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” said a third ninja. “It’s simple. We make it very clear that if he won’t negotiate, he’ll have to watch Lover Boy here die.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, with anyone else that would work. But what about the sand?” The first ninja reminded them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This weapon  can tear chakra out of the sand just like it can with people. I can’t know yet whether it will render his sand useless or just force him to expend a lot of chakra reinfusing it, but either way, it will make him much more manageable. He doesn’t have the demon chakra to fall back on anymore, remember. He’s just a man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” the one carrying Lee agreed. “And a small man with only one good trick up his sleeve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not to mention,” the voice of the leader added. “I do believe he won’t quite be thinking straight. People do stupid things when they’re in love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then maybe it’s those siblings of his we should be worrying about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nonsense.” The leader laughed. “They won’t do anything without his permission, and they won’t risk letting us hurt their brother’s precious little pet. We can handle them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not if we keep running like this,” another ninja complained. “I’m beat.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just beyond the next rise, we’ll lie in wait for him,” the leader decided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee’s mind raced. They were talking about a trap, a trap for Gaara with him as the bait. Could this strange weapon of theirs really affect Gaara’s sand? Having been struck by it in vital spots on two separate occasions, Lee was not willing to take a chance on finding out. He needed to stop this; he needed to prevent Gaara from stumbling into this trap. Lee gave his body a mental once over. He was sore all over but seemed otherwise uninjured. His leg weights were gone. And they hadn’t bothered to tie him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Big mistake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee had launched himself off his captor’s back and slammed both feet into the leader’s face before anyone could so much as blink. A second ninja fell to a swift punch. Something black dropped out of the treetops and Lee just narrowly managed to roll to one side in order to avoid the claws. The panther lunged at him and his fist met its nose. Blood splattered between his knuckles and its teeth. It reeled back, yowling, and slunk away into the trees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha!” Lee shouted. “Not so fierce now are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the six shinobi were still there. Grass shinobi, he remembered now. With unfinished business.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They surrounded him. The first two that he had taken down got up again, staggering and bleeding but still in fighting shape. They all attacked at once and it took every bit of Lee’s strength and skill to hold them off. More than once he was forced to take a punch or a kick he could have dodged in order to avoid coming into contact with that horrible weapon. He knew that if it so much as grazed him, this fight was finished. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a furious and desperate battle. Over the course of an hour, the six Grass ninjas drove him down a hillside into a hollow where wet, decaying leaves made the ground slippery and treacherous underfoot. Lee’s knees shook and one of his eyes was beginning to swell shut, but he refused to give up. A handful of shuriken whined past and one of them stuck in his shoulder. He barely even had the strength left to flinch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t win this fight, boy,” the ninja who had carried him growled, and brandished the black lacquered tanbo at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need me alive,” Lee reminded them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we can make this work with just your corpse,” the leader decided. “All we really need is for him to stop thinking clearly for a few moments, to make just one mistake. I think the sight of your dead body, all battered and bloody, might just push him over the edge nicely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Lee whispered. He couldn’t do that to Gaara. He couldn’t be the cause of more pain in Gaara’s life. Especially not now, not when the future had finally begun to look so bright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, kid,” another ninja gloated. “No way out. You’re finished.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,”Lee said again. Maybe he couldn’t save himself, but if he was going to die here today, he could at least make sure that when Gaara found him, these six weren’t still here waiting to spring a trap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just give up,” the lead Grass ninja implored him as they drew closer in a ring around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee let his hands drop to his sides and tilted his head back to look up at the sky one last time. He felt for the sand in his pocket and realized that his vest was gone. He allowed one lone tear to escape the corner of his eye and splash among the leaves underfoot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am sorry, Gaara,” he whispered. Then he brought his fists up, crossed in front of his face, mustered what remained of his strength and shouted, “First Gate! Gate of Opening!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chakra surged and leaves rose from the ground to swirl in the air around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” The lead Grass ninja cried in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Second Gate!” Lee cried. “Gate of Rest!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop him!” the leader shrieked. “Stop him or we’re all dead!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The six Grass ninja charged forwards as Lee screamed, “Third Gate! Gate of Life!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the centre of a tempest of blazing chakra, he rushed forward to meet them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * * * *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiba kept up a breakneck pace through the undergrowth, following a trail that at first only he could sense. As they got deeper into the woods, Gaara began to notice the signs as well. Broken twigs, footprints, a bit of moss scraped away from the trunk of a tree where someone had carelessly brushed against it. Their quarry was in a hurry. Or they wanted to be followed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Six enemy ninjas, Kiba had told him. And one very large cat. His lips had drawn back over his teeth in disgust as he pointed out claw marks on a tree branch overhead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata, Shino and Akamaru caught up with them a short distance outside the village. Gaara was so wound up that he nearly turned to attack when he heard them closing in, but Kankuro had grabbed his arm and hissed, “Cool it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were running along a ridge at the top of a ravine when Kiba came to a halt so suddenly that Gaara barely avoided knocking him over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here!” Kiba called. “The fight started here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fight?” Gaara repeated, his heart hammering wildly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, look.” Kiba pointed at some disturbed leaves. “Someone fell here, fell hard too. And see, over there the ground is all kicked up. It gets worse closer to that next ridge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Lee?” Gaara demanded to know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kiba looked around and sniffed. “That’s his blood there, but it’s mixed with the cat’s. Looks like they wounded each other. I don’t think any of the other blood is his.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara breathed a tiny sigh of relief and then immediately tensed up again. “But then, where are they now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Over the next rise,” Shino whispered. “Down in the hollow. My bugs have found them. The fight is over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whole group took off running. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata was the first to reach the top of the hill, scouting ahead with her byakugan. She cried out and then stumbled away into the bushes, retching and sobbing. Gaara forced himself to run faster over the slippery carpet of dead leaves. As he reached the top, he stumbled over a root and tumbled head first down the opposite slope. He fell halfway down the ravine before slamming to a halt against a tree stump and finally realizing what he was seeing on the valley floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends were running all around him, shouting words he couldn’t understand. Akamaru was barking frantically. Someone was screaming; a hideous, endless, keening wail of despair. Temari’s hand clamped over his mouth and the sound cut off abruptly. Then he realized that Temari was crying. Her chest was heaving with sobs and tears splashed onto Gaara’s jacket as she threw her arms around him, using her body to shield him from what lay at the bottom of the hollow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t look,” she begged him. “Gaara, turn away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t listen. His eyes remained fixed on Lee, curled in a ball on the ground, the peaceful green centre of a vast, six petaled, blood red flower. A crow swooped out of a tree to peck at one of those gruesome flower petals and Akamaru snapped at it to chase it away. Kankuro sat down heavily beside his brother among the dead leaves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” he whispered, his lips white, sweat beginning to streak his face paint. “Fuck. I forgot he. . . He seemed so goofy all the time, so innocent, you could almost have forgotten. . . Just, fuck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not dead, you idiots!” Kiba’s voice thundered through the hollow, ringing in Gaara’s ears. “He’s alive! He needs help!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara was on his feet in an instant, brushing past Temari, stumbling towards Lee. Blood welled up out of the mud and squelched between his toes as he drew closer, past the broken, ruined bodies of the six Grass shinobi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s alive,” Gaara whispered. “He’s alive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Kiba said desperately. “But he needs the hospital! We have to get him out of here. This is a fine fucking time for you to all lose your heads.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned away from Gaara to shout at the rest of the group. “Hey! Are you shinobi or not? Get it together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not dead,” Gaara whispered again, and dropped to his knees beside Lee in the churned up mud. “Lee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of Lee’s eyelids fluttered, his lips moved as though forming a word, but no sound came out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee!” Gaara called again, louder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee groaned. His hands moved feebly as though he were trying to grab at something. One bruised and swollen eyelid cracked open. “Gaara?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it’s me. I’m here.” Gaara sobbed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Came to save me,” Lee murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I’m sorry,” Gaara replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somewhere behind him, he heard Naruto’s overly loud, overly cheerful voice calling, “Hey, Hinata! Why are you throwing up in the bushes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, Naruto!” Sakura’s voice scolded. “Use your eyes, you idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakura and Naruto ran down the hillside, slipping and sliding in the wet leaves and mud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakura hurried to Lee’s side, her hands already glowing blue. She held them over his chest and breathed a deep sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara reached out and grabbed her sleeve. “Tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not so bad,” Sakura said, tears beginning to slide down her face as well. “When I saw him, I thought. . . But it’s not that bad. He opened the gates. But I think only the first five. Some muscle tears, a couple snapped tendons, maybe one or two broken bones. The worst of it is the exhaustion. And I think he’s starting to get hypothermic. Kiba, how long has he been laying here in the mud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Judging by the insects on these bodies,” Shino spoke up. “I’d say about three hours if he collapsed right after killing them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s funny,” Sakura said, an edge of hysteria in her voice. “You never really think of Lee killing people. I mean, we all know he’s one of the strongest shinobi around, but he’s so. . .”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Kankuro had wandered over on shaky legs. “That’s what I said.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara,” Lee whispered again, making that same grabbing motion with his hand. “Safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Lee,” Gaara told him. “You’re safe now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not . . . me. . .” Lee choked out, seeming to become agitated. “Was a trap. You.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This was a trap for me?” Gaara repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grass ninjas,” Lee whispered. “Could not. . . let them. . . “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee,” Gaara whispered. “You did this to prevent me from falling into a trap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep you safe,” Lee whispered, and then fell unconscious again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Naruto, get your ass over here and help me,” Sakura commanded. “We need to get him back to the village immediately." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were a series of loud popping sounds and three Narutos stepped forward to pry Lee’s limp form out of the bloody mire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everybody up!” Temari called. She had wiped the tears from her eyes and seemed to find her stability again in the familiar act of barking orders. “We’ve got to run, and even faster than we got here! Move!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hadn’t been running back towards the village for long when Kakashi and Gai appeared, hurtling towards them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay!” Sakura called, seeing Gai’s face crumple with pain at the sight of Lee. “He’s alive! Most of this blood isn’t his!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thank god!” Gai shouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi took one look at Lee, snatched him off of Naruto’s shoulders, grabbed Sakura’s arm and the three of them disappeared together in a puff of smoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, team,” Gai addressed them in a shaking voice. He passed a hand over his face, took a deep breath and tried to smile reassuringly at them. “No need to wear yourselves out. He’s in good hands now. Jog back, take it easy. You’ve all done excellent work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whole group slowed their pace and Gaara let himself lean against his sister as they continued towards the village. She put her arm around his shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to be okay, Gaara,” she reassured him. “He’ll be okay.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. When the Time Comes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Gaara and the others had finally managed to scrub themselves clean enough that the hospital staff would allow them in, they found Lee awake, dressed in no less than three plush bath robes, hooked to an IV and sitting up in bed looking quite pleased with himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you believe Sakura gave me a whole chocolate cake to eat by myself! It is like it is my birthday or something!” He waved a frosting smeared fork.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What! Hey, how come I never get a chocolate cake when I’m in the hospital?” Naruto complained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara ignored Naruto’s squawking and crossed the room to perch on the edge of Lee’s bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is the third time now you’ve ended up in the hospital because of an attack that was meant for me,” he pointed out quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee leaned back on the pillows and smiled up at him. “I am so happy to see you. You know, for a few minutes, I thought I was going to die and never see you again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For a few minutes I thought you were dead,” Gaara whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am okay, really,” Lee tried to reassure him. “Sakura says I’ll be good as new and out of here in a day or two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You might not have been though,” Gaara protested. “You shouldn’t have done that. You could have been killed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara,” Lee said, becoming very serious. “They were counting on you charging into their trap all panicked and not thinking right because they had taken me. They had that same weapon I was attacked with when I was your bodyguard that one time, and they said it would draw the chakra out of your sand and make it useless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not totally useless,” Gaara protested. “I can use any sand, and I could reinfuse it if I had to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But for how long could you keep that up?” Lee demanded. “They were counting on you flinging yourself blindly into a fight that would wear you out. Look me in the eye and tell me you would not have done that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara looked away. “I couldn’t just let them take you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I could not just let them set a trap for you with me as bait!” Lee insisted. “That is as good as betraying you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, kids,” Kankuro said uncomfortably. “Let’s all head down to the cafeteria and get Lee some snacks. Maybe a hot chocolate or something. On account of the hypothermia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shepherded the rest of the group out of the room, leaving Gaara and Lee alone. Gaara shot him a grateful look as he snapped the door closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t stand it if you died,” Gaara said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee took a deep breath. “We are shinobi, Gaara. We face death all the time. Given the choice between dying and betraying you, I would rather die.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I would rather that you stay alive,” Gaara told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara,” Lee whispered, reaching up to caress his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Lee. If you died, what in the hell would I do with myself?” Gaara demanded. “I can’t even think about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I have thought about it.” Lee told him. “I thought about it a lot during those six months when we fought the Kusakage, about what I would do if you were killed. It seems like there are four options. The first, the one that everyone would tell you to do, is to try to move on and live to honour the memory of the dead, like Kurenai did when Asuma was killed. The second is to quietly follow your loved one into the darkness. I have heard of shinobi that have done that when they have lost their partners. The third is to devote whatever remains of your life to vengeance. We have all seen shinobi do that. And the fourth, the one I think is most common, is to just never be okay again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara blinked. “Which one would you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not know yet,” Lee explained. “I will know when the time comes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>When</span>
  </em>
  <span> the time comes?” Gaara demanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are shinobi,” Lee said again, sighing. “I cannot promise we will grow old together. Most shinobi die before retirement. And has any Kazekage ever died of old age? All I know is that for as long as I am alive, I want to be with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee,” Gaara whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And who knows,” Lee continued. “Maybe there is an afterlife where we would be reunited, where there would be no one left to fight and nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company. I cannot count on that, so I need to make the most of the time we have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If there’s an afterlife, I’m not going to the same place you are,” Gaara said bitterly. “I would never see you again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where would you go then?” Lee asked, startled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hell,” Gaara said simply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would I not go to hell?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, never,” Gaara insisted. “Someone like you would surely go to Heaven, if such a place existed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee snorted. “I cannot imagine there could be a Heaven for me without you in it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara let himself flop over sideways onto Lee’s pillows and buried his face in the fluffy fabric that covered his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Lee asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s only the most romantic thing I have ever heard a person say in real life,” Gaara sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is true though,” Lee insisted, planting a kiss on the top of Gaara’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So that’s it then?” Gaara asked, laughing. “You’re too sweet to go to Hell but couldn’t live in Heaven without me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose so,” Lee said, putting his arms around Gaara. “But we do not need to worry about that for now. We are both still here, both safe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * * * *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re sure you’re okay?” Gaara asked again as they walked away from the hospital, one of Lee’s hands clutched in both of us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee laughed brightly and squeezed his fingers. “Yes! You were there, you heard Sakura say that I am good as new again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I want to be sure,” Gaara replied. “I can’t leave the village tomorrow if I think you’re still injured. It was all my fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So stay one more day,” Lee suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you cannot,” Lee amended quickly. “I just wish that you could. I feel bad that we had extra time to spend together and I had to waste two days in the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara shook his head incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Lee told him, swinging their joined hands a bit. “My face does still hurt a little.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where?” Gaara demanded, tugging on Lee’s arm so he would stop walking and turn to face him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right here,” Lee told him, pointing at his lower lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee!” Gaara scolded him, but leaned in to kiss him anyway. “Don’t scare me like that. Don’t ever scare me like this again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee laughed and picked Gaara right up off his feet. “I am sorry, but I do not think I can promise that. I love you and that means protecting you with my life, always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara sighed. “I know that and I’m going to be anxious about it forever. Now, let’s go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Lee said, smiling at him with a strange, soft look in his eyes. “Home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started walking again, following the street that would lead them to his apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee,” Gaara reminded him. “You can put me down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right,” Lee blushed and set him back on his feet. “Sorry, I forgot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they drew closer to the apartment, Gaara regretted asking Lee to set him down. His knees felt wobbly beneath him, and he could scarcely trust his feet to find the pavement with every step forwards. He thrust his hands into the pockets of his jacket in order to hide their nervous trembling from Lee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Lee asked him as he ushered Gaara through the door. “You seem kind of tense?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara did not answer but leapt at Lee, grabbing at the collar of his new vest to bring their bodies together. A blissful, warm relief coursed through him as their lips met and was quickly washed away by a searing, all-consuming need.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Lee said, as though he hadn’t been expecting this, his hands gripping Gaara’s waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara planted his foot behind Lee’s ankle and gave him a quick shove. Lee made a muffled, startled yelp against his mouth as he fell backwards, dragging Gaara down with him onto their makeshift bed. The sagging beams which held up the old mattress creaked threateningly in protest. Gaara ignored them, his fingers working on the zipper of Lee’s vest, and then his jumpsuit as his tongue traced the back of Lee’s teeth. He had worried that Lee might hesitate, but one of his hands was already tugging at the buckles at the front of the gourd’s leather harness while the other fumbled with the buttons of his jacket, trying to shove all of it away at once. Gaara tugged Lee’s jumpsuit off his shoulders and was brought up short by the bandages around Lee’s wrists and hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dammit,” he muttered, breaking off their long kiss to concentrate on unspooling the tape. He tried to shuffle back onto his knees but one of his jacket’s long tails had tangled around his leg, causing him to fall forward. His face would have collided with Lee’s had Lee not caught him and set him upright again. Gaara let the gourd fall to the floor and disentangled himself from his jacket as Lee unwrapped his own hands with expert swiftness, his eyes not leaving Gaara’s face. As soon as his hands were bare, he tore Gaara’s undershirt off over his head, and sat up to kiss him again. Lee reached between them to unbutton Gaara’s pants, while Gaara pushed the jumpsuit further down and struggled to untie the headband from around Lee’s waist. He rolled to the side to let Lee shove his pants down his hips and they stuck around his ankles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you wearing shoes?” Lee growled in frustration, scooting down to sit at the end of the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are, too,” Gaara pointed out breathlessly. With a few swift movements, Lee tugged off both of Gaara’s shoes, then his own and the leg warmers. Gaara kicked his pants the rest of the way off as Lee finally shucked off the jumpsuit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara lunged forward, grabbed Lee by the back of the head and kissed him fiercely as he dragged him back down on the bed. He hooked one leg around Lee’s hip to pull him closer, pressing their naked bodies together and Lee moaned into his mouth. Gaara concentrated on that sound, focused on finding a way to make Lee make that sound again. He refused to think about anything else. If he started thinking about what he was doing, he would get nervous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once, Kankuro had asked Temari to wax his eyebrows off to make it easier to apply his face paint. Afterwards, he had described the pain to Gaara. He had said that if you tried to do it slowly, bit by bit, it was so much more difficult. He had said, “You’ve just got to take a deep breath and go for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara figured that if there was ever a time that he needed that advice it was now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he took a deep breath, grabbed Lee’s hand as it brushed along his hip and dragged it down between their bodies. He stroked Lee’s hand up the inside of his own thigh and up just a little higher still as he broke their kiss to whisper in Lee’s ear, “I want you to fuck me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee froze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” He was breathing fast and his voice came out shaky and distorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara took another deep breath. “I said I want you to fuck me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee finally moved, wrenching his hand back and pulling away from Gaara. Gaara caught his arm to stop him from leaping off the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee, stop! What’s wrong?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is moving too fast!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it really?” Gaara demanded. “Because we keep stopping just short and it doesn’t feel like taking it slowly anymore, it just feels like we’re tormenting ourselves for no reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee shook his head hard and Gaara narrowed his eyes, a thought struck him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you nervous?” he asked. “You don’t need to be. I mean it’s normal to be; I am too. But it’s also my first time, and we’ll figure it out together. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, there is,” Lee insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Gaara asked. “Tell me and I’ll fix it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee’s anxious face finally softened at that and laid back down next to Gaara so that they were laying face to face, fingers laced together between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara,” Lee said gently. “It just is not time yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not ready?” Gaara asked skeptically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee snorted. “That is not exactly the truth of the matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara sat up abruptly. “You don’t want me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What! No! Why on earth would you say something like that? Gaara!” Lee sat up as well to pull Gaara into a bone-crushing hug. “I want you so badly that sometimes I worry it will drive me crazy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s the problem then?” Gaara demanded, hot tears of embarrassment beginning to collect on his eyelashes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara, if we do this wrong, if we go and jump off the deep end before we are truly ready, it could cause a lot of problems for our relationship,” Lee said seriously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We aren’t jumping off the deep end,” Gaara reminded him through gritted teeth. “If this were a pool, then we’ve waded out so far that our feet can’t touch the bottom anymore and now we’re treading water but refusing to swim the last little bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you could not swim?” Lee’s eyebrows came together in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not the point!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just do not ever want to do anything to hurt you, or make you uncomfortable or unhappy,” Lee told him, voice soothing. “That’s why it is better to take it slow. It is too new to both of us, and so easy to get carried away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You nearly died!” Gaara wasn’t used to shouting. He so rarely tried to do it that his voice now came out as a hoarse croak instead. He was on his feet beside the bed, his hands balled into fists at his sides, tears flowing down his face as he glared down at Lee. Lee’s face was a picture of astonishment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You knew you could have died, and you attacked them anyway!” Gaara tried to shout again. “And all for my sake. Do you think I could have lived with that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara,” Lee said cautiously, standing up and stepping slowly towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I know. We’re shinobi. Could die at any time. And shinobi who love each other die for each other all the time.” He wiped the tears from his face angrily and retreated from Lee a few steps. “And before you say it again, I know already, part of how you love me is by protecting me with your life. But did you not think, Lee, that I feel the same way? That you’re beyond precious to me and I would do anything for you? That I would die to keep you safe? I almost failed. For a few moments, I thought I had. Do you remember what you said after that flood, about being forced to face the possibility of a life without the one you love? Well, I came dangerously close!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was fine,” Lee whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what if you hadn’t been?” Tears were flowing so fast now that Gaara could barely even see Lee’s face anymore. He took another step back to keep the distance between them. “What’s the point in taking things slowly if either of us could die at any time. Didn’t you say that all we can do is try our best to enjoy what life we do have? I could leave this village tomorrow and be ambushed. You could be killed on a mission. At any point, one of us could be lying dead somewhere and the other might not know about it until days or even weeks later. There would be nothing we could do. Then on top of all that pain, there would also be regret about baby stepping through the time that we did have together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara, listen to me,” Lee said softly. “I could not ever regret anything about the time that we have had together, no matter what happens.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara could not answer through the sobs pressing against the back of his throat. Lee took a cautious step forward, reached out slowly and put his arms around Gaara, finally pulling him close. Gaara pressed his face into Lee’s chest and cried helplessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are everything to me,” he finally managed to whisper. “I just can’t lose you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee picked him up gently and carried him back to the bed. He sat down on the edge of the mattress, cradling Gaara in his lap, his hand rubbing soothing circles against Gaara’s back. Gaara could tell that he was crying too. Of course he was, he always did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara, I understand the way you feel,” Lee said finally. “I feel the same thing. But we still should not. . . The first time, I want it to be perfect. It means a lot to me that we do this properly. It is important to me that we do this because of love and passion, not driven by fear and pain and anger as we are now. It just would not be right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Gaara whispered. “I hadn’t thought about that. It won’t be perfect though. You know that, right? It’s going to be kind of weird and awkward the first time around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I have heard that,” Lee whispered. It sounded like he was laughing slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re probably right then,” Gaara said softly. “That it would be better for us both to be relaxed and comfortable rather than. . . like this.” He gestured to his tear stained face and hiccuped out a small laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Lee said, kissing his forehead. “It would be.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Moment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sun had long since set, and the only light in the apartment was the glow from the screen of Lee’s ancient television. Gaara had completely given up on trying to pay attention to what was happening in the show. Instead he was leaning against Lee’s shoulder, watching him laugh as the cartoon characters attempted yet another absurd solution to an equally absurd dilemma. Lee was the most breathtaking when he was laughing, Gaara decided. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling that swept over him then was a mingling of revelation and elation. This, he realized, was exactly what he wanted and needed for the rest of his life. To spend each evening wrapped safely in Lee’s arms, admiring every detail of this wonderful man who somehow had fallen in love with him. He had no idea, undeserving as he was, how he had been so lucky as to find this thing that just about every human being on the planet longed for, spent their whole lives searching for. Yet, here he was with someone he could trust absolutely, someone who would die for him, kill for him. Lee loved him just as unconditionally and endlessly as he loved Lee. And maybe he still did not understand why or how that had happened, but he knew that it was true and that he would spend each remaining day of his time on earth in gratitude for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Lee,” he whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee turned to look at him, still smiling, but faltered at the serious expression on Gaara’s face. He turned the volume of the tv all the way down. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee sat up straight and turned to look at Gaara directly, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara almost laughed. It sounded like a ridiculous question but he knew what Lee meant by it. He struggled to find the right words. “Because there’s nowhere I feel safer than when I’m with you. I know I was scared and upset before, but I’ve calmed down now, and I’m just happy to be here with you. I mean, it just feels right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Lee whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Lee hesitated a moment, seeming to search for words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re not ready, we don’t have to,” Gaara said quickly. “If it doesn’t feel right to you, then it’s not time yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it is not that, really,” Lee admitted. “It is just that I had a sort of plan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind of plan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee’s blush was just visible in the blue glow of the television. “Well, when I was sure all the danger had passed, I was going to request leave for a vacation. I wanted to take you away to a spa or something where we could be alone and relaxed for a few days. I wanted to make sure everything was romantic and comfortable, and well, perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That does sound romantic,” Gaara agreed. “And we can still do that. But, I don’t think waiting for everything to be totally perfect has ever gotten us anywhere. I mean, what if you had waited for everything to be perfect to tell me you were in love with me, instead of leaping through your kitchen window just before sunrise and blurting it out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was not the way it was supposed to happen,” Lee groaned, blushing even darker. “I had rehearsed that for weeks and I got so panicked about the possibility of you leaving before I got home that it came out all wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How were you planning to do it?” Gaara asked, laughing.</span>
</p><p><span>“Well, I was supposed to take your hands in mine, like this,” Lee lifted both of Gaara’s hands and turned to sit so they were facing each other. “And I was supposed</span> <span>to say, ‘Gaara, you are one of my closest friends, and very special to me. I value that friendship deeply, but it has become apparent to me lately that what I feel for you goes beyond the love that is the foundation of any friendship. It is something deeper and much more passionate. I understand if you do not feel the same way about me, or do not know yet how to feel about me yet, but I need you to know that I have fallen in love with you.’”</span></p><p>
  <span>Gaara laughed softly and shook his head. “No, see, I liked the way you actually did it much better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I just blurted it out like an idiot!” Lee protested. “I practically shouted it at you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, exactly. It was so honest that it allowed me to be vulnerable too, to answer you with the honest truth about how I felt,” Gaara explained. “There was no hiding behind ‘I understand if you don’t’ or ‘I don’t know how I feel yet.’ The truth was we both knew how we felt, and we both knew what we wanted. You can’t get the truth wrong, Lee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I guess not,” Lee admitted. “I was just scared about the whole thing, and I over thought it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you think we’re overthinking things now?” Gaara asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, a little bit. But it is just so important, I cannot help but be nervous about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m nervous too,” Gaara admitted. “But I trust you, and I love you, and I want you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee nodded and whispered, “I do too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can take this slowly too,” Gaara offered. “We can stop any time if it starts to feel wrong or like it’s too much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Lee agreed, drawing in a deep breath. “Come here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara closed the distance between them and Lee drew him down onto the pillows, holding them chest to chest, as he kissed him softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They lay there together, kissing and clinging to each other for so long that Gaara lost track of time utterly, forgot any world existed beyond Lee’s mouth against his and the heat of his skin where it pressed against his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt as though he had fallen into some blissful dream, though this time he knew that he would not wake up aching and alone with tears on his face. This time it was real. This time he could run his fingers up and down Lee’s spine, slide them through the silkiness of his hair, trace the shell of his ear and the firm line of his jaw. This time, the muscles of Lee’s thighs felt substantial as they shifted beneath the palm of his hand, and when Lee’s lips parted against his, the way Gaara’s body reacted to that touch was undeniable. He was in no danger of waking up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached between them to wrap his hand around Lee’s erection, exalting in the contrasting textures of hardness and velvety softness as he stroked his hand along its length. A groan rumbled through Lee’s chest and he returned the gesture.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Gaara whispered as Lee continued to stroke him. “You can. . .”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Lee whispered, voice shaking just slightly. He nudged gently at Gaara’s hip until Gaara rolled onto his back and spread his legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee paused. “We need -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. Where did I put them?” Gaara scrambled off the bed and began rummaging through his suitcase which lay open on the floor. He climbed back onto the bed with a handful of tubes and bottles. “Here. Sakura gave me a whole bunch to try out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sakura?” Lee asked, his eyebrows shooting up as Gaara began arranging the assortment of lube in a neat row on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. She was kind enough to give me these, and a lecture. And she just about ripped Sai’s head off when he started asking inappropriate questions,” Gaara explained. “It’s nice to have such caring friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why was Sai there?” Lee shook his head, eyebrows climbing still higher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, it’s a long story, and I can tell you later,” Gaara said. “We’ve got other things to do right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee nodded and frowned at the row of bottles. “So which one do we use?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, pick one,” Gaara suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee hesitated for a moment and then picked one up. “This one has cute pink hearts all over it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to choose one, Lee,” Gaara said, a nervous giggle escaping his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I pick a different one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Gaara pushed the rest of the bottles off the bed and slid closer to Lee. He lay back down and Lee settled on his knees between Gaara’s legs. He poured lube into the palm of one hand and Gaara took several deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to convince all his muscles to relax completely as Lee rubbed slippery fingers across his opening. Just the idea of Lee touching him </span>
  <em>
    <span>there </span>
  </em>
  <span>made his breathing become shaky and his heart start beating faster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold on.” He reached out, fingers digging into Lee’s forearm. “I need to calm down a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Lee asked, alarmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, fine,” Gaara said quickly. “Don’t take your hand away. I’m just jittery and this will be difficult if I can’t relax.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Lee sounded uncertain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just keep doing what you were doing, I’ll tell you when,” Gaara suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee braced his free hand on the mattress by Gaara’s shoulder and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you so much,” Lee whispered, pressing kisses along his hairline as Gaara took deep soothing breaths. “You are so perfect in every way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, now.” Gaara said finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara felt a tiny bit of pressure as Lee’s index finger slid into him, ever so slowly. He released one more deep breath and willed himself not to tense up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, wow. That is tight,” Lee whispered breathlessly. “Does it feel okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, actually.” Gaara said. He could have laughed at the surprise in his own voice. “Try moving a little.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee moved his hand carefully, almost tentatively, and watched Gaara’s eyes widen as he drew in a shaky breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee obeyed, still taking care to be as gentle as possible, his brow creased in concern, but his eyes wide with an expression close to awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara smiled up at him, “I like that. It feels good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Lee whispered, deeply relieved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed Gaara as he continued his gentle, cautious movements, pausing for only a moment to add more lube. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try adding a second one,” Gaara whispered. Lee drew his finger back to the first knuckle and eased the second one in alongside it. Gaara gasped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?” Lee asked, immediately halting his movements. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Gaara whispered, exhaling all in a rush. “Keep going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his eyes and tried to stay focused on relaxing as Lee’s fingers worked inside him. Lee curled his fingers forward slightly as he drew them back and Gaara cried out, his eyes flying open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That felt good. Do it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee repeated the motion, and though it still felt good, it wasn’t the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think you’re off to the side a bit,” Gaara whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on,” Lee murmured, biting his lip. Gaara almost wanted to laugh at the look of extreme concentration on his face. “I think I felt something before. There?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Gaara gasped as Lee’s fingers pressed up in just the right spot. “Yes. There.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee smiled and rubbed his fingers in a slow circle. Gaara squirmed and made a soft, needy whimpering sound that Lee had never heard before. Lee was positively grinning at him now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He continued the circling motion with his fingers, stroking Gaara with his other hand until Gaara was panting for breath, his face flushed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara finally grabbed his forearm to stop him and rasped, “I want you. I’m ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee withdrew his fingers, leaving Gaara feeling curiously empty. Gaara propped himself on his elbows to watch Lee apply a copious amount of lube to his own dick. He leaned over Gaara again to kiss him deeply, one elbow braced against the bed, his other hand reaching down between them to guide himself into place. Gaara felt the head of his dick bump against him and drew in a deep breath. Lee pulled back a bit to look him in the eye, and Gaara exhaled as Lee eased the tip inside. He winced and Lee froze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t.” Gaara grabbed Lee’s arm to stop him from pulling out. “Keep going. The rest. Just slowly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee eased forward, bit by bit, his concerned eyes scanning Gaara’s face for any sign of pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Gaara reassured him, his voice tight. “It’s just a lot. More than when I. . . Give me a moment to get used to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will tell me if it hurts, right?” Lee asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, don’t worry,” Gaara whispered, tracing along Lee's ribs with his fingertips. “Just stay still a moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tugged Lee’s face towards his to kiss him and let his hands wander across Lee’ back. Lee sank into the kiss, using his arms to just avoid resting his full weight on top of Gaara. His hand tangled in Gaara’s hair, cradling the back of his head. When the dull, stretching ache had subsided, Gaara shifted his hips experimentally, searching for a comfortable position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee made a strange, muffled sound against his mouth, then pulled away from the kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god, this is incredible,” Lee whispered. “I wish you could feel how this feels. I can feel every tiny little movement you make.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara smiled up at him unsteadily. “All I can feel is you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee kissed his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can try moving now,” Gaara decided. “Gently, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gently,” Lee repeated. He drew his hips back and then experimentally rocked them forward again and Gaara sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that okay?” Lee asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Gaara whispered, wrapping his arms around Lee’s shoulders and his legs around his waist. “Keep doing it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee thrust into him again, and then again, each time making a quiet humming sound in the back of his throat. He buried his face in the crook of Gaara’s shoulder, his lips moving against his collarbone, soundlessly forming his name. Gaara closed his eyes and leaned his face against Lee’s hair, inhaling deeply. He tightened his legs around Lee's hips to encourage him to push just a little deeper with each stroke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, Lee. Stop,” he said suddenly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee levered himself up on his elbows and looked down at Gaara in alarm. “What is it? What is wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing is wrong,” Gaara said slowly. “Just, think about it. I mean, it just hit me. You’re inside me right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” said Lee, frowning in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s incredible,” Gaara whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile broke across Lee’s face and he leaned down to kiss Gaara. “Yes, it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re really doing this. This is real. It’s actually happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Lee said, and made a sound like he was trying not to laugh. He clapped one hand over his mouth, but it was too late; Gaara started laughing as well. Lee let his head fall onto the pillow beside Gaara’s, giggling helplessly. Gaara laughed even harder as Lee’s full weight settled over him, and gathered him into a tight hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think we’re supposed to laugh while doing this,” Gaara said, trying to arrange his face back into seriousness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels so weird when you laugh,” Lee told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it?” Gaara asked, fascinated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee nodded. “Any time you move at all, really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like this?” He gripped Lee’s waist with his thighs and rolled his hips up to meet him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohh,” Lee groaned. “Well, that just feels fantastic. Do it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara rolled his hips again, then a third time and Lee thrust forward to meet him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Gaara breathed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Lee agreed, his voice muffled against Gaara’s neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They fell into a rhythm, moving together. The blue light of the television flickered forgotten in the darkened apartment. The air was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing, gasps and moans and muffled cries, and the creaking protests of the old pull out couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara,” Lee groaned against his shoulder, his breath gusting hot and damp across Gaara’s skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had grown much too warm in the apartment. Sweat gathered between them wherever their skin met. Neither of them seemed to notice or care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Gaara whispered. It had grown easier to say with everything that they had been through together. Now it fell from his lips almost unconsciously, feverishly, over and over again, in time with the thrust of Lee’s hips. “Love you, love you, love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you.” There was a desperation in Lee’s voice that set every nerve in Gaara’s body tingling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee reached down between them to wrap his hand around Gaara’s dick, and he started stroking it in time with his thrusts. He was moving faster now, not quite as gentle as before. Gaara’s eyelids fluttered and he clutched at Lee’s shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee,” he panted. “This feels so . . . oh . . . you inside me . . . and touching me . . . so good. . . I’m going to -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Lee cried. “I want to see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee!” Gaara gasped, and Lee rocked back on his heels just in time to watch Gaara’s head crane back against the pillow, a flush rising over the straining muscles of his neck. He cried out wordlessly, his fingers digging into Lee’s biceps as cum spilled across his stomach and Lee’s fist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaara,” Lee choked out, his eyes going wide. Then he dropped forward again, his forehead pressing against Gaara’s shoulder, his hand still wrapped around Gaara’s dick. He gave a few more quick thrusts, harder and deeper than before, then let out a long, low groan that turned into a shuddering whimper. They clung to each other, both trembling through the last aftershocks of their orgasms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Lee tumbled sideways, sliding out of Gaara, and gathering him against his chest. They were both sweaty, disheveled and breathing hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Lee asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?” Gaara repeated. “Not the right word. I feel. . . ecstatic. I think that’s the right word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you liked it, then?” Lee asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara snorted out a small laugh. “Yes. So much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, good,” Lee sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you?” Gaara asked. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think this is the happiest I have ever felt in my whole life,” Lee whispered, sounding a bit choked up. “I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara sat up a little so he could look at Lee properly. Sure enough, tears were gathering in his eyes and his bottom lip wobbled precariously. Gaara flopped back against the pillows and gathered Lee against him so that his face was pressed against the side of Gaara’s neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay if you want to cry,” Gaara whispered, running his fingers through Lee’s hair. “I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you do,” Lee said shakily. Gaara could feel his tears already starting to flow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is happy crying, right?” Gaara double checked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The happiest,” Lee sobbed. “I just feel so many things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine,” Gaara said, kissing the top of Lee’s glossy head. He smiled up at the ceiling and let himself bask in the feelings of peace, happiness and love that were washing through him. He was going to be sore later, he could feel it already, but it would be so worth it. He kissed the back of Lee’s hand where it rested on his shoulder and Lee laughed wetly before letting out another muffled sob and hugging Gaara even tighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara pressed the back of his fist against his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh. After the first time Lee had slept over at his house in Suna, Kankuro had looked at Gaara thoughtfully across his desk during lunch and said, “You know, I should have known you and Lee didn’t do the nasty. He was far too cheerful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gaara had demanded indignantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee’s a crier,” Kankuro had said. “He cries about everything, all the time. Hell, I once saw him burst into tears on a mission because we saw a litter of kittens grooming each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That does sound like Lee, but what’s your point,” Gaara had asked impatiently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee’s a crier,” Kankuro had repeated. “Some people get really emotional about that kind of stuff. If you two ever bump uglies, I predict about a week’s worth of uncontrollable sobbing, and no less than three speeches about passion and the power of youth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara reflected now that Kankuro probably would rather not know that he had been right. He would probably also rather not know that Gaara found it overwhelmingly adorable. Gaara held Lee until he finished crying, whispering to him the entire time about how sweet he was, the perfect man, the love of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee,” he finally said when he was sure Lee was calm again. “I think we need to clean up a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His skin had become uncomfortably sticky and he was beginning to feel cold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Lee shouted. “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leapt up and swept Gaara off the bed, turning to rush into the tiny bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lee!” Gaara protested, laughing. “I can do it myself!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * * * *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lee and Gaara arrived at the gate much later than they were supposed to, hand in hand and out of breath. Gaara figured that it wasn’t his fault, or Lee’s for that matter, that they had both overslept, that he couldn’t quite walk right, or that they had had to stop in an alley half way here to kiss each other senseless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Kankuro lounging on top of a pile of luggage while the rest of the Sand ninjas hurried about making last minute adjustments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re lucky,” Kankuro grunted. “If Temari had arrived on time, she would have sent a search party over to Lee’s place by now. As it is, I’m starting to wonder if we should send a search party over to Shikamaru’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara shook his head and drew Lee a short distance away from the travel preparations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll miss you,” he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When will you be back?” Lee asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s hard to say, but it shouldn’t be more than a few weeks. Drop by if you can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will,” Lee promised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, otherwise I’ll have to invent some excuse to send for you,” Gaara told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be okay, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think Lady Tsunade would be mad if I started sending her a message every few weeks with some made up mission in Suna that only Team Gai could possibly handle?” Gaara asked, a mischievous light in his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only one way to find out.” Lee giggled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara glanced at his retinue over Lee’s shoulder and decided he didn’t care if everyone on earth knew how painfully happy he was. In fact, he wanted to shout about it so everyone knew that Lee belonged to him, and he belonged to Lee. He stood on his toes and kissed Lee soundly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Temari, Shikamaru!” Kankuro called out loudly behind them. “You’re finally here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on, you guys” Shikamaru grumbled. “I just ate breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s the hypocrite now?” Temari said archly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara pulled the veil of his hat forwards to hide his face and Lee’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need to be going?” Lee asked when he finally pulled away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I suppose so,” Gaara sighed. “I wish I could take you with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee swept Gaara off his feet and kissed him one more time. “You’ll see me soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee placed Gaara in his horse’s saddle and Gaara winced slightly as he sat down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no,” Lee gasped, on hand flying to his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Gaara reassured him, squeezing his hand. “Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee gripped his hand and raised his fingers to his lips. Then he turned Gaara’s hand over and kissed his palm as he looked up at him with earnest, emotion filled eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Gaara sighed, leaning forward in the saddle to kiss Lee once. Twice. Again. Just once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee caught Gaara’s face between his hands and gave him one last long, slow kiss. It was the way he used to kiss him when they would meet for brief moments during the six months before the trial, never sure if it would be for the last time, needing to make each kiss count. But this time there was none of the anguish in it, only hope and joy and just the tiniest edge of sorrow at their parting. Tears slid down Lee’s face and caught in the corners of Gaara’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t cry, Lee,” Gaara whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I cannot help it,” Lee said, laughing weakly. “I have never loved anything as much as I love you. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, uh, we kind of need to get going,” Kankuro’s voice cut through the moment. “We’re burning daylight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara and Lee both turned towards him, and Kankuro looked back and forth between Lee’s tear stained face and Gaara’s lovestruck smile and recoiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, gross,” he complained. Then he turned to look at the roof of the guard house behind Lee and shouted, “Sakura! You owe me money!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A voice on the roof cheered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Lee heard Tenten’s triumphant voice saying, “That means Neji owes me a new kunai! Ha!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaara turned Lee’s face back towards him for one last lingering kiss, then sat up in the saddle and turned his horse towards the gate, trotting out onto the road with the rest of the Sand shinobi trailing behind at a smart jog. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee watched them go until distance and the blur of tears made it impossible to see him anymore. Two sets of arms wrapped around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t cry, Lee,” Sakura said gently. “He’ll be back before you know it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Lee,” Tenten agreed. “With a guy as sweet as you, it’s not like he could stay away long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Lee sobbed. “Do not mistake my tears. I am not only crying because I will miss him, but because I love him so much and I am just so happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we know,” Tenten said slyly. “Come on, we’ll take you to the flower shop and you can tell us all about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think there are a few people there who are dying to hear about it,” Sakura added as they began dragging him down the street. “You can tell us </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Lee said, laughing and blushing to the roots of his hair. “Maybe not </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I just want to let you guys know that this series still has a few more parts coming up, but I'm going to take a break next week so I can focus on another project that I've been neglecting for two long. The first chapter of the next story will be posted on January 16th.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading!! I always love hearing from you, so you can leave me a comment here if you'd like to, or visit me on <a href="https://lilac-writes.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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